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How To:Create Fake Sickness Symptoms
Ok, I admit it, after changing and moving from so many schools I started to dislike it.This tutorial isn’t too ethical and it varies a lot from my average computer related guides but someone has to help the poor kids ditch school and who better than me.
To come up and execute these tricks took me a lot of imagination and and some good acting, of course if I had put in the same effort as I did to come up with this into my school work I would have been an A grade student but instead I got to stay home and play on the computer =).
When you are trying to fake a symptom you need to do some preparatives the day before, a cold just doesn’t appear immediately, it normally starts with a runny nose and evolves into other bigger symptoms.When you start faking the symptoms, don’t overdue it or they will find out your faking it or worse, my parents took me to the ER and trust me, trying to convince a doctor your sick is a lot harder (but not impossible).
Lets divide the sections into symptoms:
RUNNY NOSE:
To fake a nose is quite simple although it’s not exactly going to fake it but actually give you a runny nose for a few hours.
» Grab an ice cube and run it all around your nose for about 5 minutes early in the morning.
» After you finish, dry it superficially with a towel.
By the time your parents wake up your nose will be red and quite runny, this only tends to last for a few hours.I suggest you combine it with a headache or migraine symptom.
SICK STOMACH:
A sick stomach is pretty much a lot of vomiting, NEVER ATTEMPT TO MAKE YOURSELF VOMIT! Instead we’re going to fake a vomit.You should get up earlier than usual to give you time to create the mixture for the fake vomit.
» Grab a slice of bread, some water, a drop of black food dye, orange juice, milk, oat meal, an egg and some vinegar (if possible add some left overs from the night before or bits of chopped carrots).
» Smash and mix it all but not to well as you want it to have chunks like real vomit and poor it into a container and hide it somewhere in the bathroom.
When your parents wake up you should fake a bit of a drowsy symptom (vague stare) and tell your mum you feel like you have a light stomach.Around 15 minutes later jog to the bathroom make some of them gaging vomit noises and poor in the mixture (do not throw glops of it in as it looks fake), smear some around your lips (don’t forget to hude the container) and wet your eyes and rub them till it feels uncomfortable (puking causes stress on your eyes which makes them water).
Your parents should come to see whats happening, tell them you puked a bit but you feel a bit better (puking relieves tension from your stomach when your sick), look at them with a vague drowsy look on your face, they should immediately ask you if you want to go to school.
HEADACHE OR MIGRAINE:
The good thing about migraines is that they only cause psychical symptoms like sensitivity to light and noise, this is really easy to fake.
» Pretend your head hurts, turn off all the music, close the curtains and get under the quilt.
» When they ask, Where does it hurt? tell them in your temples, back of the head or all over like a pounding headache.Remember to talk slowly and softly.
» If someone speaks to loud or makes a big noise, wince or flinch.
» Fake some fatigue, and try to sleep a lot (which I guess won’t be a problem).Don’t move around to much and try to have a bit of a pain/drowsy look on your face.
FEVER
» Fake the fever with lye soap. Place a bar of lye soap (available at your local grocery) under your armpit. Hold it there for about 3 minutes prior to taking your oral temperature. It should raise your temperature (temporarily) about 5-6 degrees. OR you can take a washcloth and run it under really hot water. Soak it thoroughly, then wring it out until it feels hot, but dry. Leave it on your forehead,neck and cheeks for a few minutes.
» Combine these symptoms with the headache ones.
» Stare with a vague, unfocused look at everything.
» Don’t tell them you feel hot, since fevers actually make you feel cold.
RED EYES
Red eyes are a good way to add that special touch to most symptoms as they indicate you didn’t sleep to well.
» Wash your hands and rub a bit of soap in them well, open your eyes wide and touch them both with your soap impregnated hands.
It will sting a lot but it wont harm your eyes.
THERMOMETER TIPS
» If you have an oral thermometer heat up some water, once its semi hot drink it and hold it in your mouth till you feel it gets warm, then tell them your taking your temperature. DO NOT use this technique if your thermometer is made from mercury as it will crack.
» Another way to get passed the oral thermometer is to hold it for a few seconds at a time next to a light bulb.
» If you have the armpit thermometer, put a hand warmer under your armpit before your temperature is taken.
» One trick that works with all kinds of thermometers is to rub the tip of it with your fingers, creating friction that will heat it up.
» More elaborately, you can buy an identical thermometer to the one you have at home and heat that one up to the right temperate, when their not looking just give them a switch.
» The ideal temperature to have when your sick is 101-102.5 F (41 C), remember this when your heating the thermometer up.
TIPS:
» If your planning well ahead, hide some snacks and books,games in your room the night before so you have something to do while your “sick” in bed.
» If your parents give you an aspirin, keep it under your tongue and don’t swallow it, spit it out when their not looking.
» Don’t tell them your sick, let them figure it out by themselves. Sick people don’t have the energy to go around tell everyone their sick.
» Act as if it was all normal the night before, do your homework and show some vague symptoms like an itchy nose or a bit of a drowsy face.
» Parents play the “oh I forgot something” trick, stay in bed for atleast 15 minutes before you get up a leave (supposing both your parents work).
» The unfocused and drowsy look should be kept at all times in most symptoms.
» You can combine some of the symptoms together just make sure you don’t do anything over the top or you will end up explaining to the doctor why you faked your illness.
WARNING:
I have seen other guides that suggest you cause yourself to vomit or take medication.NEVER do that! I’m showing you a non harmful way of faking your sickness, other techniques can harm your body and lead to worse scenarios.
Also Read:
- How To: Know When Someone Is Going To Die
- How To: Make an Invisible User Account in Vista
- 30 Ways To Make A Girl Smile
- General Stretching Exercises To Grow Taller
- How To: Pass A Urine Test
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Tags: fake a cold, fake a fever, fake a headache, fake being sick, fake sickness symptoms, fake stomach cramps, fake the flue, how to fake being sick and stay from from school, pretend being sick, pretend to be sick, stay home from school, thermometer tricks Discussion
65 comments for “How To:Create Fake Sickness Symptoms”
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Hello!, Matthew is awesomely cool with tons of knowledge and lots of experience in blah blah blah ...he doesn't like writing about himself cause it always seems to come out sounding self-centered, instead he will write this in a third person which most authors do anyway...perhaps it's because it makes us sound important cause it gives the illusion someone (non biased) thinks so highly of us they took some time off their own to write this :).Read more about me here...
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HAHAHA! Thanks! I shall try the tips! ;) I hope it works! Hahaha! :D
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:cry:
:eek:
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haha!
i’m going to try these tips right now!
:twisted:
hope they work!
:wink:
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wow that’s weird… :shock:
it’s not 9 pm over here…
why did my comment say at 9:48 pm?
haha
thats weird
its actually 6:50 am
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wow… I hope it works…
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I used a hair dryer against my ears for an ear thermometer and it said i had a fever
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I used a hair dryer against my ears for an ear thermometer and it said i had a fever!!! lol
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:oops: :wink: : i hope this really works :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :?:
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:oops: :wink: : i hope this really works :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :?:
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Dude my dad looks at me for a fucking secound…I didnt have to say one thing…
Hes like…
“go lay down”
Thats all he said. I didnt respond
I walked down the hall way coughing.
i love you.
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:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: i love you. marry me please.
the ice cube for a runny nose and the soap for my eyes worked like right away!!! all i had to do was walk downstairs for b-fast and my mom was like your sick arent you? omg have i mentioned i love you??
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OMG!!!!!!! Hope it works!!!!!!!!!! TANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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You… Are A Legend :grin: Thanks x
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if this works i might think about sending you 100$
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Matthew Michaels Reply:
October 15th, 2008 at 8:17 am
hahah I think I might be $100 richer then :P
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another way that works but is dangerous is overdosing on cough med and it gives u a bad headache ive done it once but it was an accident
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Matthew Michaels Reply:
March 14th, 2009 at 11:05 am
I wouldnt advise such a thing…its very dangerous and not worth it for faking a headache when in fact headaches cant be proven in the exterior physically like a fever or cough and you’d be better of faking it :P.
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Actually the best fever temperature in °C is 39-40°C
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hi thanks for the info
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Does this really work?
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Great guide, it works. Another way to make your nose runny, put some water in your nose and then sit in front of a fan.
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so basicly act like im high loollzz!!
will do … this is my second time reviewing this, i tried it and it worked…. my parents dont believe thermometers cus they get warmer eery time u leave it in ur mouth longer. so my mom just feels my head, neck, cheeks, and arms.I EAT LOTS OF ICE SO I DO GET THE ACTUALS CHILLS LOL cus im not a good actor D;
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awsom great fantastic i am going to try them i am so pissing of my parents
hahaha
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wow if this works i might give you a million dollahs
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o-man iv been looking for ideas like this for years!!!!!!!!!!
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what if u have a thing u put in your ear to take your temp. any ideas
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i love the ideas brighlient i just
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lol i tried “acting” dizzy and did the runny nose and red eyes my mum was just like go to bed. without a single glance :)
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nice im gonna try it to see if it really works
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wow! hope it works!
(best sick guide ever!)
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Oh, man. I hate school so much, and your guide has proved quite useful. I have recently faked vomiting, and it was quite easy considering I live in a two story house and have an upstairs bathroom. Just go in, close the door, make some noises, flush, wipe my mouth vigorously, and ta-da! Seems like I vomited.
I overused it though. Ended up going to the doctor, almost got caught, haha.
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Already got the thermometer set. XD
Its a Tempa-Dot, so its staying at 102.2 degrees F. Its a bit high but I think it’ll be fine. Going to sleep really late to look more worn out. The only part I’ll have to do is the heating the face with the hot cloth part tomorrow.
I’m almost 17 and this is my first attempt at faking sick lol. I’ve never needed to because my parents are very chill. I’d be like “I don’t feel like going to school today” and they’d ask why and then be like okay. ha ha. I just thought I’d try this for kicks; plus I’ve already had no excuse the last two times and I don’t want to overdue it and lose the privilege.
The thing is my mom’s a nurse, so this has to be pretty convincing.
Thanks for the tips. Hope this works!
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can someone plz tell me if it is possible to pull this off on a Monday morning w/no planning or anything?!?!?! Im desperate i will love u forever if u can tel me how!?!?!?!?!
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also u may want to get this page of the history of ur computer…I no my parents check EVERYTHING when I “get sick”
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WOW!!! thanks a million!!! i will definitely try these!!!
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I…LOVE…YOU! I wanted to get out of swimming for gym soooo bad! And when I was just fake coughing my mom knew I was faking but now she thinks its legit yo. Did I Say I Love you?
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hey what eles you could do is stay up all night and in the morrnig you will have bags under your eyes so it looks more real.
Or you could stay up crying all night and when they come in and say whats wrong say you have a bad stoomch and then keep doing that every night. Infact it saved my life i had a slow colon and i didn’t know intill my mum took me to the doctors and they sent me for x-ray so it may save your life
hope it works
:) :) :) :)
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i smashed up saltine crackers, then mixsed milk and choclate(i used ovaltine) but any pwder choclate could work…and then i mixed the smached crackers in with the choclate milk and it soaks it up its nasty but it works
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this is awesome cause i have been sick scence sunday and it went away
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like that souds like it would work i’m tryin to get out of school this monday cause my teacher never shuts up so hope it works!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i know i just wrote but thanks 1 more time my mum is sooooo gulubl sometimes and i njust don’t want to go to school cause my teacher is soooooooo lame and i sit by the most stupides kid in class hope it works tee-hee!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I LUV YOU SO MUCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hehehehtee-hee
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thanks alot u just saved my life from going to school u should see how much she talks WOW!!!!!! she could talk u to sleep, most kids in her class would rather run away than ever go to her class again
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thanks now i can call my girlfriend over and we can do stuff togather!!!!!!!!!!!! if u know what i mean
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hi thanks for the tips now me and my gf can get it on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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thank u I stayed home today!!!
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I tried almost all of them but my parents are really strict and none of them work but I remember one time I had such a bad headache that I stayed home from school and all I did was I added on crying to the headache that is on here and my parents bought it! If you have REALLY strict parents, try crying with the headache… It will mostly work… So if the regular one didn’t help, maybe this will! Hope it helps even MORE!!!!,
MaddyLynn!
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these are some awesome tips! thanks !!! im planning on faking sick on tuesday.allso its good to have a cup of hot water under a blanket and when your parents come to take your temp. if they arent looking put the thermometer in the cup of water and then when they look back at you put the thermometer immediatley into your mouth but makesure the temp. isnt too high or the parents will think something is suspicious.well thanks for the tips …bye!
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My sister morgan did this and she really smelled like barf.
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Thanks I was resading this the morning of but all I did was tell my dad I had a stomachache and that I had a headache and faked that. Also tell them you can make. Up the school work even if it’s not true. They will think you’ll just do it another time.
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These aree great! Thank-you so much!:)
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Hope It Works I Am Going To Try To Get Ready right Now!!!
XD
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MAN!!!I hope this works because i HATE BABYSITTn little kids 4 a whole WEEK!!!:[ PLZZZ let it work
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Tijned Theo Jansen heeft na bestudering van het vonis en de vele tips waarvoor dank!, een gevoelige nederlaag geleden in een 11 jaar slepende kwestie met voormalig pachter Dick Schuurman. Schuurman heeft 7 weken een Miller Time café uitgebaat in Den Bosch en heeft nu een vordering op Theo Tyned Jansen van dik 2 ton uitvoerbaar bij vonnis. Uit het vonnis blijkt dat de tycoon Schuurman onder grote druk allerlei papieren heeft laten ondertekenen die geen enkele grondslag hadden. De faillisementen koning heeft in hoger beroep de rechter niet kunnen overtuigen dat hij Schuurman niet onder dwang heeft laten tekenen.
Onbekend is of de dure nederlaag van Tijned Theo Jansen gevolgen heeft voor de herontwikeling van de horecazaken op het Stratumseind. De faillisementen koning heeft met diverse ondernemers nog procedures lopen die nu ook kunnen beschikken over het gevoelige vonnis
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